Meeting Your Personality Needs in Healthy Ways

We’ve been learning about our Personality Needs, how they impact us, and how they can sometimes keep us from getting our needs met in a healthy way.

As we try to get our 6 Basic Human Needs met, we may self-sabotage or procrastinate when we are not in alignment with our Personality Needs. These needs may include things like adventure, status, communication, creativity, comfort, connection, or security.

When we are not aware of these needs, we may let our subconscious take charge. The subconscious often tries to meet our needs by repeating patterns that have worked in the past, even if those patterns only bring short-term relief or are not healthy for us long term.

That is why we need conscious, intentional strategies to meet our Personality Needs as directly and effectively as possible.

So, how do we do this?

First, identify your needs and intentions in the following 7 areas of your life:

1. Career

2. Financial

3. Mental

4. Emotional

5. Physical

6. Spiritual

7. Relationships

What areas do you want to improve? Try to be specific about your goals and intentions in each area.

Then, pay attention to your emotions when those goals are not being met. Negative emotions can serve as signals, pointing you toward areas of your life that may need more attention, care, or alignment.

If you find yourself self-sabotaging, procrastinating, or turning to short-term distractions such as food, television, your phone, or other habits, it may be because you are not aligned with your deeper needs.

For example, if you have a report due at work but cannot get started, or you only last a few minutes before calling friends, scrolling your phone, or making dinner plans, you may have a strong need for communication, connection, or socialization.

Once you recognize this, you can create a healthier strategy. You might decide to work on the report for one focused hour, knowing you have plans to go out afterward. You may also realize that you need to schedule regular social time with friends so that this need is being met more consistently.

If you cannot focus on the report and instead find yourself watching a romantic comedy and eating pie, you may have a need for comfort. Rather than judging yourself, ask what kind of comfort you truly need. Maybe you could call a trusted friend, take a short walk, make a warm cup of tea, rest for a few minutes, or plan time with someone who helps you feel safe and supported.

If you find yourself doodling instead of working on the report, you may have a need for creativity. Instead of seeing this as a problem, you can recognize that your creativity is asking for space. A healthier strategy might be signing up for a drawing or painting class, setting aside creative time during the week, or adding a small creative element to your work process.

The goal is not to shame yourself for the ways you have tried to get your needs met. The goal is to become curious.

Ask yourself:

What need am I trying to meet?

Is this behavior giving me short-term relief or long-term support?

What healthier strategy could help me meet this need more directly?

Finding healthy and effective ways to meet your needs can help reduce the shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness that may come from automatic short-term behaviors.

When you begin meeting your needs with more awareness and intention, you may find yourself feeling more aligned, more fulfilled, and happier with yourself and your life.

If you would like support identifying your Personality Needs and learning healthier ways to meet them, I invite you to reach out for one-on-one coaching. Together, we can explore what may be keeping you stuck and create strategies that support a more aligned and fulfilling life.